'I Know What You Did Last Summer' Has No Hook
I know what movie I'll forget about this summer. There's a difference between a fun bad movie and a boring bad movie. I Know What You Did Last Summer tries hard to be enjoyable by inserting some of the lamest humor imaginable, written by people who think they're being clever. There's one line in the movie, for instance, where one of the characters suggests fleeing Southport and heading to the Bahamas for safety. Ray Bronson (Freddy Prince Jr.) retorts that it would be a terrible idea in an eye-rolling callback to the second film.
Writers Sam Lansky and Jennifer Kaytin Robinson (who's also the director) constantly call back to a film that wasn't even that great to begin with. The original I Know What You Did Last Summer was a Scream knockoff during a light era of horror films that copied a movie whose entire point was to mock the clichés of horror films. Completing the cycle of bad screenwriting, 90s horror films became clichés in their own right. Something that even Craven's Scream stories did by franchising themselves. The writers of this film are constantly nudging the audience with references, as they clearly had nothing creative to come up with on their own. It's not necessary to see the first film to understand this one. However, you'll miss all the references. I confess, I haven't seen the original since it was on VHS. Yet I saw I Still Know What You Did Last Summer in the theater, then subsequently whenever it ran on basic cable. Outside of the callbacks to movie two, there are name drops and plot points from movie one that are not worth your time checking out.
Even with my limited knowledge of the first film, I could tell they were repeating it beat for beat. The inciting incident is the same one from the first film. Then, everyone becomes a target for the Fisherman killer because he knows what they covered up. If you've seen any horror movie for the past three decades, then the ending doesn't need to be explained. What makes matters worse is that the characters, including the legacy ones, are dull.
What do we know about the protagonist of the film, Ava Brooks (Chase Sui Wonders), other than her sexual orientation? Furthermore, how has Julie James (Jennifer Love Hewitt) changed since the first film? Her occupation shouldn't be the only thing that makes her a discernable character. She doesn't seem different or affected. Just there for a paycheck. One of the most interesting characters in the movie, who bears a resemblance to today's financially hopeless clickbait-driven generation, is killed instantly, leaving us with more of the generic cast of attractive, rich people.
When the film attempts to take a chance with a final plot twist, it fails because it hasn't been built up to or established. Just rushed at the last minute. There's also a character who we think is the killer, whom we just met. That's just plain bad writing. The test audience I saw the movie with consisted of hardcore fans who cheered when their legacy characters returned to the screen. Why? They were literally on the gigantic poster that the studio projects on the screen for everyone to see before the movie starts. What's the surprise?
We can ask for better films than this. A good horror film isn't just a slasher where characterless characters are hacked apart on screen. Scream had an appeal because the characters were memorable people who were more than just cut-out personas. Jaws is an even better example of people mattering. Not cheap plot twists being thrown in at the last minute. There's nothing creative or daring about killing off Han Solo or bringing Palpatine back from the dead.
Jennifer Kaytin Robinson pulls a JJ Abrams by making one of the laziest sequels to a legacy film you can imagine. If you're desperate for a good time, go out, get drunk, head to the theater, and then see this movie because it will be more enjoyable while you're intoxicated. You'll remember about as much of the film if you were to see it sober. It wouldn't be a surprise if the writers were boozed up when they typed its script. At one point in the film, Julie James exclaims, "Nostalgia is overrated." At least the writers are aware of what they’re making.
